A friend recently related their thanks at something I’d ‘given’ them – confidence. Over the time I’ve known them, they’ve consistently done well across a range of things, not all of which I was directly involved in. I’ve quietly admired their work, and at a pivotal moment I played their accomplishments back to them. I bolstered their self-belief and in doing so helped them seize … Continue reading The value of attention
“When you’re convinced you’re stuck, when you’re convinced there’s no way forward, just remember: there’s a staircase you’re not seeing. Trust it’s there, right in front of you, and that it leads to exciting new places. Have the courage to believe in this one thing you can’t see.“ Quoting Neil Pastiche’s book ‘You Are Awesome’, this is a reminder that the dots get joined up … Continue reading Life is a staircase, and you’re climbing
In lots of places I read about how we can choose to be happy. My experience, confirmed by therapists, is that it’s not so simple. What we can do daily though, is make choices that lead to a more content state. We can disengage from unhelpful thinking. Acknowledge patterns and move toward better ones. Recognise possibility and seize opportunity. For those who’ve long been in … Continue reading The choice to be happy
A good friend asked me a question about goals and the danger of spiralling thoughts if they’re not reached. In replying I thought about the Stockdale paradox and noted that I’ve been that broken optimist around some of my own desires. If setting a goal that isn’t entirely within your control, or is a remarkable stretch, it might be better to choose merely a direction … Continue reading Goals and direction
It’s impossible to cater for everyone, especially in contexts that are focused on individual preference. Aiming to do so is the right thing, though there comes a point where a decision must be made on the best compromise. I don’t like to compromise, though there may be no better way when there are finite resources or opportunities. Where compromise is made, we must be conscious … Continue reading Pleasing everyone, all the time
As I thought about my next career steps today I wasn’t feeling enthusiasm for what seems the obvious next step. Unsure of what to aim for, I pulled back from thinking of paths and asked myself in what areas I most wanted to grow. There, where my curiosity is naturally engaged, seems the best way forward for the long term. Kindly, keep going. Continue reading Where do you want to go
If we’re operating anywhere near our full potential then at some point a mistake or failure is inevitable. How will you approach that? Hesitantly, limiting personal growth? Idealistically, risking a brittle facade? Flexibly, building resilience? Wanting to grow and acknowledging the inevitable, what’s the best way to prepare yourself? Continue reading Fear of failure
I didn’t feel I had the energy or the time to do some rearranging of things after work, and before going home. Recognising how strongly I wanted to make progress though, I told myself I’d do just one pomodoro. So I made a commitment of only 25 minutes and got started, actually wrapping up nearly an hour and half later. Taking a small step is … Continue reading One tomato, two tomato
When you’re waiting on the boss and what you’re hoping for isn’t materialising, it’s easy to be disheartened and feel knocked back. It might be just a nudge that’s needed for them, though. It’s not that it’s not going anywhere or your ask is unimportant. It’s merely that there are lots of things to move forward and many of them are important. Don’t get bitter, … Continue reading Not going anywhere
There are always going to be problems. Long term satisfaction isn’t found in the absence of problems. It’s in tackling the problems you care about solving. Continue reading Problems, everywhere
Sometimes You Learn 