A friend recently related their thanks at something I’d ‘given’ them – confidence. Over the time I’ve known them, they’ve consistently done well across a range of things, not all of which I was directly involved in. I’ve quietly admired their work, and at a pivotal moment I played their accomplishments back to them. I bolstered their self-belief and in doing so helped them seize … Continue reading The value of attention
Once it’s clear that you face a dilemma, rather than merely a problem, you’ve got to stop hoping for a comfortable solution. A new piece of information might land that simplifies things. Maybe an overlooked route will open up that changes things. Scrutiny of the variables could tip the scales convincingly. If you feel stuck with the dilemma after lots of careful thought though, you … Continue reading Dilemmas, and that one tidy solution
In lots of places I read about how we can choose to be happy. My experience, confirmed by therapists, is that it’s not so simple. What we can do daily though, is make choices that lead to a more content state. We can disengage from unhelpful thinking. Acknowledge patterns and move toward better ones. Recognise possibility and seize opportunity. For those who’ve long been in … Continue reading The choice to be happy
As I thought about my next career steps today I wasn’t feeling enthusiasm for what seems the obvious next step. Unsure of what to aim for, I pulled back from thinking of paths and asked myself in what areas I most wanted to grow. There, where my curiosity is naturally engaged, seems the best way forward for the long term. Kindly, keep going. Continue reading Where do you want to go
More often than I’d like, I don’t immediately have an answer when someone is looking for help. Actually, this turns out to be a help in itself. I listen, actively. I try to re-frame the problem if appropriate, gaining clarity on the key points and cutting through any noise. Very often, this is enough. The conversation has been the help and we both go away … Continue reading What do I have to offer
When I picture myself at eighty, reflecting on life, I know I want to have helped people. Right now it doesn’t feel like I get to do that enough – a source of some frustration for me. This afternoon, I spent an hour composing an email to someone I might never meet again. They’ve been through a tough experience and I hope I’ve shared some … Continue reading Time to make a difference
When you’re waiting on the boss and what you’re hoping for isn’t materialising, it’s easy to be disheartened and feel knocked back. It might be just a nudge that’s needed for them, though. It’s not that it’s not going anywhere or your ask is unimportant. It’s merely that there are lots of things to move forward and many of them are important. Don’t get bitter, … Continue reading Not going anywhere
There are always going to be problems. Long term satisfaction isn’t found in the absence of problems. It’s in tackling the problems you care about solving. Continue reading Problems, everywhere
When the thing you want to stress doesn’t accord with what your audience wants to hear, take a moment to think about what that means. Perhaps you need to improve your delivery. Perhaps you need to better understand the audience’s needs. Or, perhaps, you’re just not aligned with the audience. Is the discord a signal that you’re not on the right path, for the long … Continue reading Picking your audience
Attending to a difficult situation today, I needed to pull together some fragmented perspectives to figure out what was really going on. I wanted to build a complete picture so that I could fairly assess the right course of action. The same events were recalled differently by almost everyone. If the events were recalled the same, then the assumed intent was often different – even … Continue reading The complete picture, or a composite
Sometimes You Learn 