An excerpt from ‘Coaching with Compassion’: “People don’t change when they’re told what’s wrong with them, they change when they feel sufficiently supported to undertake the change they already know is due.” I don’t think that’s always true, but it’s closer than the position we usually take. It’s easier to point out flaws and expect someone to quickly address them, than to nourish and encourage … Continue reading When people change, and what they need

There’s a place on my local high street to get tattoos, and the front door has a sign advertising laser removal that you can’t miss right on the way in. I’m not sure if it’s tongue in cheek, but it certainly seems incongruous. If I were going to get a tattoo, I’d want to go to the place that’s confident I’m going to love it. … Continue reading Tattoo studio – laser removal also available

Trying to do some vector drawing tasks recently, I’ve been battling with Inkscape – a powerful, free design tool. I’m very familiar with CorelDraw that does the same thing, but I’d need to pay for. A little frustrated with my IT setup, ‘quirks’ of the Inkscape UI, and having to re-learn things that are familiar, left me nearly paralysed. Then I remembered what’s obvious and … Continue reading CorelDraw – I miss you

It’s about the last kind of video I want to watch, and yet. Any time I hear a phrase like “get your seven figure income” my eyebrows knit rather than my heart rate races, and yet. I found myself in almost complete agreement. Read key books Work on your mindset Think beyond the self Remember things need time Keep at it Nothing earth shattering, merely … Continue reading Become a millionaire, said the YouTuber

When enjoying leaving drinks from my job recently, it was nice to hear the positive difference I’d made to people and how they felt. I offered that perhaps a key reason was how I aim to give ‘unconditional positive regard’. I’m not sure they’re the right words, but they’re the fewest I can boil the sentiment down to. I like the Goethe quote: “Treat people … Continue reading Leading with unconditional positive regard

I’ve helped a few people get into running, and other things, which really just means nudging them past the point of “I can’t see myself getting better at xyz”. Barring real physiological or psychological barriers, I suggest it’s mostly a function of time spent. It’s a choice. I wish I’d seen this more clearly as a younger person. That there’s lots of stuff that you … Continue reading If you can’t see yourself being a runner

Many moons ago I was bagging Wainwrights. Got nearly half way and then, well, life happened. Re-reading the notes I made on each Lake District trip, I ask myself how I could possibly have let life roll on without coming back to these hills. This is why we need coaches, whether it’s a professional, a friend, or a loved one, playing that role. To remind … Continue reading That dusty box of maps is to be kept

I prefer to respond, thoughtfully and with care, than merely react. Particularly in emotional situations, a knee-jerk reaction can fall short of the ideal response. We’re humans with a highly evolved threat response that favours quick reactions, though. How to overcome that? Preparation and practice. This can be communicating expectations clearly and early on. It might be repeated scenario exposure so you learn to choose … Continue reading Reacting vs responding, and preparatory work

There’s not a simple answer. Were you hired knowing you had much to learn, or expecting that you’d fill knowledge gaps? On the team, is your value in asking challenging questions, or advising how things currently work? Are you writing up a thesis, or starting a line of enquiry? There’s not a one-size-fits-all answer, so don’t be afraid to ask questions. Kindly, keep going. Continue reading How much you should know

Many folks think having goals is motivating, and they can be. The words goal and challenge aren’t synonymous though, and the difference is important. I can set a goal of running 5km and, for me, that wouldn’t be motivating precisely because it’s not a challenge. For someone else it will be and I salute anyone tackling what they find difficult – not what I might … Continue reading Goals and challenges are not the same