Growth can be pretty uncomfortable. You’re stretched and not sure you can do something, perhaps on unfamiliar ground, certainly a bit out of your depth. It’s scary to commit.
Pushing on with what you don’t want to do might feel very similar. There’s discomfort and uncertainty. Your commitment is probably lacklustre.
How to discern if you’re growing or merely troubling yourself?
Ask if it lines up with your values, and then your goals.
Kindly, keep growing.