It’s history repeating itself. Time and again I find myself re-learning that the best you can do sometimes, is just to listen. To give space. To make sure the other person knows their pain has been shared. In the rush to give help, we don’t always let loved ones express themselves fully. We skip ahead to problem solving, not wanting to dwell on the discomfort. … Continue reading Can you hear that?

At dusk yesterday, when I was walking my pooch around the neighbourhood, two other dog walkers were heading toward each other in the near darkness. Expecting at least one of them to move to one side for the other, I felt a palpable anticipation as they grew closer. They just kept going even though they were looking at each other, and time seemed to be … Continue reading Intimacy

It looks like a lot of other folks have really got it together and you don’t. It seems that x, y, and z is going well for them. And them over there, too. What’s wrong with you? That person over there though, they’re looking at you and noticing that: your fitness is really coming back you’re eating more healthily there’s progress on that project that … Continue reading When the tank is empty

A few roles back, I was unhappy with the way things were being done in the company I was working for. My two-up boss was very capable, very caring and hadn’t been with the company very long. I took my grumbles to him in the hopes that he could fix everything. He listened and he asked a lot of great questions that brought clarity to … Continue reading What does good look like?

Somehow I ended up watching a clip of a 1995 interview with James Earl Jones, which (to me) was most memorable for the American proverb I hadn’t heard before. It was a lead-in to mentioning the pain of unemployment felt within the Asian community in NYC. The nature of their protest, James Earl Jones said, is almost irrelevant – it’s about the pain. There are … Continue reading The squeakiest wheel gets the grease

About ten years ago I learned to ride a motorbike – some fifteen years or so after learning to drive a car. It was a good reminder of some key lessons, that stuck all the better for being in a slightly different context. When you’ve already seen a lot go wrong on the highways, safety tips for a rider really strike home! One maxim stood … Continue reading Get inside the envelope

I already know I want to write a longer post about this, but this is such a helpful thing (at least for me) that I’m gonna roll out version one pretty quickly. One of the biggest problems I face when I’m down, is how apathy smothers everything. I can look at work I have to do and know full well what must be done and … Continue reading Curiosity battles apathy

There are people who get right up our noses. Across history there are probably one or two we can all agree on, but others will be in my naughty book and not in yours. Even for those I’d be delighted to never hear from again, I think it’s better if we condemn their poor behaviour, rather than the person. We can recognise there might be … Continue reading Who stinks, what stinks?

It’s not helpful to minimise what is happening, but it is helpful to remember that good can come from even the worst of times. Here’s a good read on how scientific endeavour has all but eliminated polio. For thousands of years, humans faced a paralysing illness that could strike anyone – president and remote rural worker alike. It’s less than a century since we discovered … Continue reading Hope is sweet, pink on top

I’m a big fan of things that are tangible. Of connecting with people, in the flesh. In a sense, the coronavirus has created a different world overnight. It’s much smaller than we’ve been used to – although of course we have tools that enable worldwide connection at the click of a button. A friend and I have been talking about a book, 21 Lessons, that … Continue reading Make your world larger