Someone I care deeply about is very unwell and suffering from serious mental health issues compounded by anorexia’s debilitating physical effects. I’d prefer to say they’re battling with rather than suffering from these issues, but I don’t believe they are. I desperately want to help make things better and have been working at it for a very long time, alongside others who also care deeply and with professional help from the NHS.
Nothing seems to be working.
Yes, the provision of care could be better resourced and more support could be given to the non-professional carers around this person, but I don’t think it would make much difference. I’m ultimately reminded, after a lot of deliberation and interventions, of a point Seth Godin made about motivation:
Sooner or later, all motivation is self motivation. And the challenge and opportunity is in finding the external forces that will soon become internal ones.Seth’s blog
This person I care for has to engage with external forces that support recovery, and be prepared to internalise them. All those of us around them can do is prepare the environment – no more. It’s difficult to accept that’s the only help we can give.