If thinking back from a place that seems unfair, recognising the choices you’ve made helps absorb the lessons available. That’s not to say it’ll all suddenly seem fair. It doesn’t mean anything immediately changes, apart from your perspective. Acknowledging past decisions (even passive ones, which is deciding to do nothing) reinforces how we have choices today.
I have often been frustrated that I don’t have all the things I feel I’ve earned and that many peers have accumulated with apparent ease. In times gone by this has led me to think that no matter what I do, I’ll always be on the losing end. This unhelpful thinking overlooks the crucial role of my own decision making and in doing makes it harder to learn the lessons that will help me get where I want to go.
Not being a home-owner doesn’t show I’m ill-fated, it was because I made a well-reasoned choice with a loved one’s interests at heart. Not being further forward in my career isn’t due to cosmic imbalance, it’s because I made choices in terms of location, who I’d work with, and what matters to me. A long list of shortfalls appears when I’m accosted by the black dog, but in all of them I can find a lesson now – which allows me think more clearly as I head toward the brighter future.