A recent blog crush of mine, Dan Callum,, wrote about ‘under the weather routines‘ today and I’d been thinking about something similar. When emotionally in need of a freshen-up but there isn’t the time or facilities to have a proper clean, just brushing your teeth is a big help. I’ve found this when I’m at home, when I’ve been ‘in the field’ with the armed … Continue reading Feeling grubby

My beloved has, I often think, a problem mindset. Where I gravitate towards solutions, they are quick to point out issues without offering (or even thinking about) how to solve them. This can be very frustrating and I’ve tried to nudge change around this in the past. When I step back from the irritation of feeling blocked, slowed or pointedly questioned, I can see the … Continue reading The problem mindset

In software development, assumptions cause a lot of issues. Particularly when they’re quite speculative and not tested until as early as is practicable. Re-work or deadline extensions follow, inevitably. Sometimes the reverse is true, in life as well as in software. We thought something was needed or complicated that turns out not to be, and this pleasant surprise (unless profiteering on hourly work) leads to … Continue reading Untested assumptions

I used to wait eagerly for an email from Steam, to tell me which of the games I would like were on sale. When it arrived, there was disappointment if what I was hoping to play wasn’t in the list of games on sale – I didn’t have enough money to justify buying at full price (or even a small reduction). Today, I got an … Continue reading Gaming – now, and back then

Acting impulsively is easy, as long as you can cope with the consequences or forget the last time you felt them. If you want greater choice in your future, better not to be impulsive (at least where it matters). How to do this? I’m finding that I have two competing tendencies and while I work on dialling both of those down, a little controlled indulgence … Continue reading Controlling that impulse

Thinking about my reaction to some events, I’ve tried to break down why I get irritated so quickly. One of the reasons is not feeling heard. After taking time to identify how to stop something unfortunate happening in future, then more time to explain this to those concerned, it irks me greatly when the lessons don’t appear to have been learned. I feel I wasn’t … Continue reading On being heard

There are many things that I’ve gotten better at choosing my response to, but at least one thing that generates an immediate reaction. If I feel my agency threatened, I give a reflexive and strong rebuttal that’s often inflammatory; hardly the response a Stoic should choose. In this context, I define agency as: The capacity of an actor to choose their actions. It’s ironic that … Continue reading React vs respond