I’m going to quote Mike Maples Jr directly: “The best advice I have seen comes from people who don’t try to tell me the answer… instead they give my a new approach to thinking about the question so that I can solve it better on my own.” And later he says it might be like: “I can’t answer your question, but this might be a … Continue reading The best advice will be indirect

I’m re-reading The Coaching Habit by MBS (the other one). It’s a quick read and superficially simple to absorb and apply. Nonetheless, I’m delighted to be finding new goodies tucked away in its words, reflecting on my application of insight previously gained from it. Like almost all books, it’s a gift that keeps on giving. The key is to receptive and pay attention. That’s true … Continue reading Same pages. New wisdom.

When someone’s done great work, of course it’s good to recognise that. Not just good, but important and helpful. Better still, can you offer insight into what could be even better? Not merely to congratulate someone, but to positively challenge them to build on their accomplishment? Pick your moment and tone, and help folks keep working at growth over basking in a warm glow. Continue reading Praise alone isn’t the best feedback

I’ve chosen not to have a regular job and without it, I’m conscious that my days don’t have the structure they once did. Consequently, they often pass one to the next without me clearly noticing how that time has just gone. My beloved spent 50p at a car boot sale and bought me a little desk calendar. You open it up each morning and move … Continue reading Morning cube juggling

As I was laboriously jogging up a hill this morning, my brain said clearly “oof, this feels tough”. I haven’t ran on my own for a while. I’ve been in a mental funk for some time. It’s been tough. Helping me to trot on, my brain equally clearly replied to itself – “don’t worry, this is good for you”. It’s a hard message to absorb … Continue reading Oof, this feels tough

I lost my sunglasses yesterday while out walking the dawg, as he pulled me along a watercourse that he can navigate well and I can’t. He’s barely two foot tall, I’m a lumbering six foot magnet for thorns and foliage behind him. My beloved affectionately (well, not so affectionately) refers to the glasses as the ‘Turdinators’. If the Terminator’s cool shades had turned to crap, … Continue reading Lost, mebbe better off not found

When you’re doing scary stuff, it can be easier with company. They might not take the steps with you, they might just help by holding you accountable and cheering you on. Today, I asked a dear friend to keep me right, using stickK. There’s real money on the line, making it a proper commitment. It’s also reminded me I’m very lucky. Lucky to have friends … Continue reading Phone a dear friend, kinda

I went for a long hot run yesterday and, unusually sensibly for me, decided to put some factor 50 on. Every now and again I caught the scent of the sun cream, which immediately put me in mind of beautiful holidays I’ve enjoyed abroad. That and the run across a beautiful Peak District landscape gave me a sense of awe and appreciation that really lifted … Continue reading Evocative sunblock

There’s research that points to 21 days being the necessary time for a habit to form. App developers, blog writers, and even life coaches latched on to that. They offer exhortations based on 21 days that will lead (probably through seven secret steps) to incredible breakthroughs! Except the research concludes that 21 days is merely an average. There’s significant variation (18 to 274 days, I … Continue reading 21 days, or so, to a better habit

An excerpt from ‘Coaching with Compassion’: “People don’t change when they’re told what’s wrong with them, they change when they feel sufficiently supported to undertake the change they already know is due.” I don’t think that’s always true, but it’s closer than the position we usually take. It’s easier to point out flaws and expect someone to quickly address them, than to nourish and encourage … Continue reading When people change, and what they need