In lots of places I read about how we can choose to be happy. My experience, confirmed by therapists, is that it’s not so simple. What we can do daily though, is make choices that lead to a more content state. We can disengage from unhelpful thinking. Acknowledge patterns and move toward better ones. Recognise possibility and seize opportunity. For those who’ve long been in … Continue reading The choice to be happy
I’m re-reading one of my favourite books. A book that lifted my mood when I was really on my knees a good few years back – The Long Way to Small, Angry Planet. Dr Chef says: ‘I don’t mean the practical details. Nobody ever figures those out. I mean the important thing.’ ‘You’re trying to be someone good’. Kindly, keep going. Continue reading The Long Way back from angry, again
Life does not deliver a meaning for you, you find meaning in your life. The best version of you creates positive meaning for others, too. Kindly, keep going. Continue reading Life – do talk to yourself about life
I don’t have a lot of things and my life, right now, doesn’t feel like it’s going where I want it to – at least not quickly. There’s a laundry list of shortcomings I identify with, that my head runs over when it’s stuck in an unkind place. Last night, I watched ‘The Fight’ by Jessica Hynes. I was profoundly when Mick, responding to “somebody’s … Continue reading What to be proud of
Attention to detail is seen as a good thing. Nit-picking is seen as bad thing. Where’s the difference? Perhaps in the intent – are you looking to attentively move something forward, or hold someone back? Perhaps how it’s received – does the recipient helped, or hindered? Attention is important – to feelings, too. Kindly, keep going. Continue reading Nit-picking – good or bad
Is what you do helping you to grow in the areas you care about? Are the challenges you face the ones you want to tackle? If neither of those are true, is what you’re doing really going in the right direction? Sometimes needs must. Sometimes you need to make a difficult choice, lest you suffer the consequence of not doing so. Kindly, keep going. Continue reading The right growth and challenge
When I run with a friend I enjoy saying “you’re only cheating yourself” if either of us take an iddy biddy shortcut. Over time I’ve come to (mostly) avoid those shortcuts as a matter of principle. If there’s a task I’m reluctant to do, I sometimes line up a reward for when it’s completed. In the past I’d often indulge a seductive voice that nudged … Continue reading You’re only cheating yourself
A good friend asked me a question about goals and the danger of spiralling thoughts if they’re not reached. In replying I thought about the Stockdale paradox and noted that I’ve been that broken optimist around some of my own desires. If setting a goal that isn’t entirely within your control, or is a remarkable stretch, it might be better to choose merely a direction … Continue reading Goals and direction
It’s impossible to cater for everyone, especially in contexts that are focused on individual preference. Aiming to do so is the right thing, though there comes a point where a decision must be made on the best compromise. I don’t like to compromise, though there may be no better way when there are finite resources or opportunities. Where compromise is made, we must be conscious … Continue reading Pleasing everyone, all the time
I wrote a quote I like on my notice board as a reminder today, changing the pronoun as I did so. “Nobody made a greater mistake than they who did nothing because they could do only a little.” Through the week I gently nudged a senior colleague, for using unnecessarily gendered language that could have a subtle negative impact. It’s not much, but if we … Continue reading Doing just a little
